BRK11's blog

Funny that all we do in Poker reflect to society one way or the other. Or better, maybe if and only when we are capable doing something with the reflection it gives us into other parts of our lives. I remember my counting days in Vegas. Sitting everyday counting decks of cards between hoars, huslers, tourists and Phd's has shown me one common threat. All are in denial bringing up the same excuses referring to their losses. that is why the measure of intelligence became relative for me. It is the same people respond to my blog her correlating that to my -EV graph at Sharkscope.

I am contagiously in love with those people always calling it somewhere in order not to be as "special" I am. The economics is only bad cause you believe so, choosing to be part of something what can't last for ever. Specially not when it is based upon your denial not to choose for yourself, rather having to be part of something wired through distress and manipulation. I am not smart enough or it is a risk are the most commonly reasons I hear from those questioning my existence.

After a few weeks in heaven I am down to earth again. It is to expected but when it hits the shit it never seems to end. Lost about 15 buy ins this morning at once and manage to get 2 in the money out of 20 losses. Out of this losses I only played 2 bubbles. The rest all ended 4-6. What we do is closing the door for all distractions like woman or people with stories failing to act towards their running wild excuses, not making the best out of their boring no life zones. Not tilting is a fabulous result going through a series of banana results.

I need improvement. That is what Charlie told me today I agree, we all need improvement somewhere. Some are suprised me not going in defense. In fact even when you play perfect you should humble yourself for you to improve something around your play, mostly your life around your play. Cause some think that poker is their life. But what happened when you push the buttons once more, suddenly distracted by a nice lady falling for your charmes, and the only think you can think is your last bad beat.

It is funny when you act nice to people they got confused. Many poker players are "gambling" for the wrong reasons. Escape the daily trauma not knowing how to act outdoors, everything seems to bite you leaving you no medication what so ever. People are so desperate in need for confirmation used as they are for the daily rejection from the crowd, mainly rejecting themselves. I am just walking though my head right now picking up thoughts typing them down. What else a blog is for? Anyhow, things are picking up right now.

Some people are just as holes by origin. If I am looking one or meeting, it is mostly out of unhealed scar tissue in which the ego has defend someones insecurities. Some people laughing looking to my stats than making remarks why should I have a blog when I am loser? Well if I am not doing well, what indicates that for me not having a blog. You can only improve when you are open not being upon defense. I have seen kids so rich and so rotten cause all their winnings was nothing else feeding some kind of compensation Lived long enough in Vegas to know.

My coach has been mysteriously disappeared?! where in the heck is FThater? That is what I am dreaming about now! Playing in Europe for a month I slowly get myself into the pace of playing volume. Compared to American players, players in Europe are more fishy. A huge difference could be the social status of most relax Europeans and the never know what the next day brings in America. Everybody lives on credit over there! What happens when the dollar indeed crashes! America seems to think it can print money for ever No one seems to care! But the burst is coming!

When I train ICM it teaches you where to put your chips in the pot. Of course we need to adapt the ranges. Nothing new. Why should we wait shoving from the SB by example if there is future positive Ev to get. What does it matter we have 12 10 or 14. Positive shove is a positive shove. I am not in for the short run. I guess you will have a wider variance up and down, but who cares if the results are good in the long run. I not sure about my statement, but following the math would be a good thing. There is always another SNG! Comments and arguments would be appreciated though.

Right now I am playing free rolls and cheap games cause I am waiting upon my money what suppose to come somewhere within this 2 weeks from the States. Waiting is horrible, although I fill my time with studying. Being in a strange country where not many are speaking fluent english. That I found rather strange for Portugal. It feels that this country is isolated from the rest of the world, or maybe it is me being used to American way of life, fast with one goal, "making money"!

It is May 4 and we are counting down. I can travel save now cause Osama has been dumped in the ocean. OMG (really?) I am on my way to another country knowing no one, not speaking the language what is good so I can just focus for the reason I am there. Getting things done, getting my green card. I am going to stay about 1.5 to 1.8 year in Portugal. Why Portugal? It doesn't feel European , more kind of Brazil when ever you hit Lisbon. Than when my green card and everything is prepared returning, I just wish things should be normal here again.